On September 11th I was in Israel. I remember the horror, fear, and anxiety.
I also remember the shared pain. I recall signs all over Israel canceling events and concerts in solidarity with America. It was a time of uncertainty, grief, loss, and fear.
Those same feelings returned in force this week. And while I was in Israel on September 11th and felt like I should be in America with my family, so now I am in America and feel like I should be in Israel, with my family, helping, supporting, doing something.
I know many of us feel this way. So what can we do? Well, first let me say what we should not do.
I know it's tempting at times like this to give up, to feel cynical. We want to close ourselves off from the world.
This is a form of escape. This is how some people deal with tragedy and horror.
It's equally tempting–and I confess I'm guilty of it sometimes–to say we have to go full out for revenge and destruction. "Let's wipe Gaza off the map," some people say.
All nuances and wisdom go out the window. Neither of these responses is helpful or consistent with Jewish tradition or Israel's interests.
Don’t Ask the Why Question
In addition, it is not particularly helpful to start asking why. Why would people commit such horrific acts? How can anyone engage in such horror? These are not good questions because there is no answer.
We should not get stuck on questions with no answers. We can't explain how people can act in such ways. Nothing can justify what we have seen. But we can become the answer.
The Hebrew language actually recommends this approach. The Hebrew word for why is "Lama." If you split the word up into syllables, it's leh-mah. That means, "For what?"
In other words, when we ask why, we should think, for what purpose, for what action...What does this call us to do?
Here are a few answers:
1. Express our solidarity with Israel and with human dignity: This is not a symmetrical conflict. One side seeks to prevent casualties. Another side seeks to multiply them.
We've all seen reports of the glee Hamas terrorists took in murdering people, including children. We can express our solidarity in words, images, conversations. I know many of us have already done so.
We need to continue to do so in the weeks ahead as the conflict and fallout continue. Perhaps you saw that wonderful meme on Facebook? If someone asks if you have family in Israel, you say, “Yes, seven million brothers and sisters.”
2. Recognize the emotional and psychological pain this week has caused: Several writers have used the word pogrom to describe what happened.
Others pointed out it might have been the most Jews murdered in a day since the Holocaust.
This event triggered embedded memories of trauma we haven't directly experienced as American Jews in the twenty-first century.
Israel was established to put that fear to bed once and for all. It was established to create a nation-state where Jews would not have to live in fear.
And then in one day that fear and anxiety came roaring back. We know our history as Jews is filled with death and loss. But perhaps we thought it was history, the past. Not yet.
I saw a Facebook post from a friend who said he had just texted 6 friends in Israel. He didn't expect any replies because it was 1 a.m. Israel time.
But he got six responses within 10 minutes. No one is sleeping. No one feels safe.
3. Prayer and presence make a difference: The Jewish sages teach, “Ahl tifrosh min hatzibur, You shall not separate yourself from the community.”
We show up. We recall and say the words of our tradition. We are here for one another.
That's one of the reasons it's so powerful to send cards, texts, and even just thoughts and prayers to Israelis and their families. They matter.
4. Be careful with our words: The most effective generals and leaders are those who are unruffled, calm, and focused in difficult times.
We have seen the horror of the Hamas terrorists. But we shouldn't respond with bloodthirsty rhetoric.
It doesn't accomplish anything. It may give us an emotional release, but it speaks to our base human instincts. It also creates division among people of decency.
That does not mean we do not act with great strength and conviction.
I applaud the billionaire donor to the University of Pennsylvania who urged other donors not to give to Penn until the President and chair of the board resign because they have still refused to apologize for permitting a conference on campus with strong antisemitic and genocidal overtones.
We should also challenge other institutions where antisemitism is allowed to flourish, endangering Jewish students and community members.
At my own alma mater, Stanford University, an instructor made Jewish students stand in the corner of a classroom.
But we should not make broad destructive violent statements. No one wants an extended regional war. No one wants more bloodshed.
Our fundamental Jewish insistence and message to the world is that human life is holy and all human beings should see one another as kin.
5. Find hope: This may be the hardest. How can we find hope amidst such horror? Well, I think we have no other option.
Nachman of Breslov, a great Hasidic rebbe, said the greatest sin is despair.
It's not too early to hope. It never is.
We can remember some of Israel's greatest breakthroughs came after times of horror and shock. The peace agreement with Egypt–which has withstood the test of time–came a few years after the Yom Kippur War.
And the Jewish people have survived so much. The pogroms, the holocaust, the assassination of Prime Minister Rabin, and going back even further, the crusades, the blood libel–all of those fears may have come roaring back last week, but we can also remind ourselves that we have survived. And we are here.
Am Yisrael Chai, the people of Israel live.
Really beautiful. Thank you.