Have you ever met someone who sounded too confident? Perhaps their self-assurance made them less honest and trustworthy.
That seems counter-intuitive. We usually think confidence improves credibility.
But the opposite turns out to be true. Too much confidence can lead to a lack of trust. We wonder whether something (or someone) is too good to be true.
Social science has proven this truth when it comes to sales. In his book, To Sell Is Human, Daniel Pink points out that the most successful salespeople have neutral expressions. They do not smile too much or too broadly.
They also don't talk too much. They don't have all the answers.
Rather, they ask probing questions. They invite real connection rather than blind confidence. Their humility stands out more than their certainty.
What the Bible Says
In the book of Genesis, Joseph undergoes a transformation from over-confidence to humility.
He begins with arrogance and certainty. He tells his brothers they will eventually bow to them.
He tells them they are stars revolving around his superior light. Humble is not a word one would use to describe him.
Then he is sold into slavery. He is falsely accused of rape. He is thrown into prison.
In prison, he begins to look more closely at himself. He forms connections with other prisoners. He uses his talents not only to help himself but to serve others. A humbled and humble Joseph emerges from prison and soon reaches the heights of success.
Humbled and Confident
Now he still has his confidence. He knows he has been blessed by God with the ability to interpret dreams and envision the future.
But instead of hurting him, as it did with his brothers, his confidence now helps him.
He is confident enough to appear in front of the Pharaoh and tell him what his dreams mean. He is confident enough to take charge of the effort to control Egypt's grain production and preservation so the nation can survive the famine.
His newfound humility now only sits alongside his reserve of confidence. It enhances it.
That truly comes through when he meets his brothers again after twenty years. They come searching for food and do not recognize the princely Joseph. But Joseph recognizes them.
Transformed
So what should he do? Well, the old Joseph would probably have lorded his success over them. He would have told them they once doubted him and hated him, but now he controls their destiny.
He would wear all the luxurious comforts of Egypt as a new coat of many colors, reminding his brothers how much more powerful and favored he was than them.
But that's not the Joseph we see. After determining they had repented, Joseph reveals himself to his brothers and immediately follows with a question: "I am your brother Joseph," he says. "Is my father still alive?" (Genesis 45:4)
No condemnation. No anger. He focuses immediately on what they share: a father.
Joseph then reframes his entire history with his brothers by describing their actions as part of God's ultimate plan rather than acts of hatred.
"And now," he says, "do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you." (Genesis 45:5)
This is a different telling of history than what we expect. Joseph is not at the center. God is.