How We Grieve Together

Finding Meaning After the Washington Plane Crash

We are shocked and bewildered by the plane crash at Washington National Airport.

First, we are stunned by the sheer loss of life—almost seventy people gone in an instant. We can picture them, the icy water into which the plane fell. It’s all too real.

Then, we are shocked because of the rarity. The last major plane crash was in 2009. Most of us have flown, and while we know it is safe, there is always that small feeling of uncertainty.

And then, we are shocked because of everything else happening around us. The news has been relentless—no matter your political views, we have all felt bombarded, caught in a vortex of information and chaos.

As a rabbi, I have sat with many grieving families. If I could speak with those mourning now, here is what I would say:

1. Grief and Love Go Hand in Hand: Because you loved deeply, you now hurt deeply. The pain you feel is a reflection of the love that filled your life, a love so powerful that even loss cannot erase it.

Right now, the shock is immense. It feels unreal, as if time has stopped and the world is tilting beneath your feet.

One moment, everything was ordinary, and the next, everything changed. The mind struggles to catch up, to comprehend the suddenness of it all. How could someone who was just here be gone?

The depth of sorrow reflects the depth of love. Though it feels impossible to imagine life beyond this pain, love remains—unchanged, unbroken, and forever a part of you.

In Judaism, we do not rush to “move on” from grief. Instead, we embrace mourning as a sacred process. And that process begins in community.

2. Even in the Darkness, You Are Not Alone

The loss you feel today is carried by many—by those who love you, by your community, by God.

When the pain feels unbearable, lean on those around you.

There are no perfect words in times like this, but there are people who will listen, arms that will hold you, and hearts willing to carry even a small piece of your sorrow.

You are not alone, because those who love you are here. They will be here tomorrow, the next day, and in the weeks to come, even when the world moves on but your grief remains.

And beyond those who stand beside you, there is a Presence that never leaves you. God is near to the brokenhearted—not as a distant force, not as an answer to the impossible questions, but as a quiet, steady presence in your pain.

You may not feel it now, but you are held.

3. Love Never Dies

In the shock of loss, we ask, How do we go on? The truth is, we do not move forward without them—we move forward with them, carrying their love within us.

The love they gave, the lessons they taught, the warmth they shared—none of that is lost.

It lives on, strengthening you, guiding you, and becoming part of the light you bring to the world.

Don’t Let that Light Go Out!

The Jewish community recently celebrated Chanukah, a time when we light candles for eight nights, symbolizing resilience, hope, and the enduring power of light to dispel darkness.

Each night, we add another candle, creating a growing blaze of light that pushes back against the longest, darkest nights of the year.

A single candle may flicker and eventually fade, but its glow lingers, spreading to ignite other flames, leaving behind warmth and radiance that endure.

So too, a life’s impact does not end with death. The love, kindness, and values of those who have passed are like the flames of those Chanukah candles—touching and kindling others long after their physical presence is gone.

Every interaction they had, every kind word spoken, and every gesture of compassion continues to ripple outward, shaping the lives of those who remain.

Their influence is seen in the way we care for others, in the lessons we carry forward, and in the light we choose to share with the world.

Just as one candle can ignite many others without diminishing its own light, the legacy of those we mourn continues to shine through the lives they touched, ensuring that their memory truly becomes a blessing and a source of inspiration.

We do not simply go on. We go on strengthened by their love, carrying their light forward into the world.