Are You Getting Better with Age?

See What the Bible Would Say

The Jewish sages taught many values starkly different from those heralded in the larger culture today. Take the issue of youth and age.

Our culture tends to value youth. We want to look younger, feel younger, stay energetic

We dye our hair, eliminate wrinkles in our skin, and, according to recent studies, spend billions of dollars a year seeking to present a more youthful appearance.

In ancient Israel, the opposite was true. Instead of wanting to look young, the sages lauded the virtue of being old.

Instead of signaling senescence, gray hair demanded respect and signaled wisdom. Aging was considered a sign of blessing.

In the Bible, we read, "rise before the gray-haired." (Leviticus 19:32) We might think this commandment is an ancient version of good manners, the biblical equivalent of giving a seat to an elderly or handicapped person on a bus or the airport.

But that's not the way sages understood it. We do not stand to help the elderly. We rise to help ourselves. We rise to open ourselves to their wisdom and blessings.

What Chapter Are You In?

One way to understand their unique wisdom is through an analogy offered by Rabbi Harold Kushner. In one of his last books, Kushner wrote, “I think of life as a good book. The further you get into it, the more it begins to make sense.”

As Kushner suggests, our elders can attain unique self-knowledge and clarity of purpose. That understanding can trickle down to those of us lucky enough to learn from them.

Jewish society in rabbinic times was structured in such a way that elders held positions of authority. There was no mandatory retirement ages.

Respect for the elderly translated into influence over society. When their words were not heeded, tragedy often ensued.

We find a poignant example from the biblical book of Second Samuel. King Solomon has just died. His son Rehoboam has ascended to the throne.

He has two groups of advisors: a younger cohort of his contemporaries, and a group of his father's long-time counselors.

A group of Israelites come to Rehoboam and plead with him to lower their workload. They have effectively been slaves to his father Solomon in building great cities and monuments. They were asking his son to see their plight and reduce their workload.

Rehoboam turned to his advisors. The older group--his father's counselors--told him to listen to the people's pleas. Have mercy upon them and lighten their load. They acknowledged that his father had overworked them, and they deserved better treatment.

Then Rehoboam turned to his younger advisors. They urged him to reject the Israelites' pleas. They said it was time for the new king to show his power. Rather than lighten their load, he should increase it. That would send a message to anyone to intimidate the new king.

Rehoboam listened to his younger advisors. Soon thereafter, the overburdened and overtaxed northern part of his kingdom revolted, and the united nation of Israel was split into two.

Rehoboam lost his united kingdom, and eventually, the Northern kingdom was destroyed Assyria. He is remembered as one of the most destructive kings of Israel.

Who’s Stronger?

This story may explain why the sages teach that the eighties is the “decade for might.” (Pirke Avot, 5:25) On the surface, that statement seems illogical.

Most people do not attain their peak strength when they are in their eighties. We might be more inclined to agree with an earlier statement by the sages where they sat the thirties is the "decade for strength." This statement seems more logical.

But one modern Canadian rabbi offered a fascinating interpretation of these seemingly contradictory verses.

In our thirties, we have an abundance of strength that allows us to follow many pursuits. We try new things, change jobs, have kids, move, travel, and are constantly in motion. We can go in many different directions at once.

Spirit Vs. Body

But as we age, we realize we can't do everything. We are human, not superhuman. So we moderate and focus. We develop priorities. We find what is most important and decide what we want to pass on to the future.

As Rabbi Bulka puts it, "This process of channeling energy is an expression of might. Strength refers to unlimited energy and ability. Might refers to limited capacity that reveals a special power—that of having to decide what is truly vital."

Think about older people you've known who embodied this might. They knew what was important. They didn't try to be who they were not. They didn't seek to impress others or worry about the future.

Perhaps we can say their spiritual self has ascended over their physical self. Of course, the two are connected, but the spirit takes longer to develop than the body.

By the eighties, it has reached its highest level yet. The body has declined, but the spirit has soared.