An Easy Way to Put a Smile on Your Face

A great Jewish sage once received a letter. The letter said, "I am in a state of deep depression. I wake up each morning dreading the day ahead.”

“I find that nothing lifts the clouds of gloom. I try various distractions but nothing seems to work. I pray, but inspiration does not come. I need the rabbi’s help and advice.”

The rabbi replied without any words. He simply circled the first word of every sentence. That word was "I."

He knew happiness doesn't come from self-obsession. It doesn't come from getting more things.

So where does it come from?

Well, our consumerist culture tells us it comes from buying more things. We need to buy this product or take thing trip and then we'll be happy.

We need to find the perfect relationship or remodel our house, and then we'll be happy.

The rabbi recognized this way of thinking is deeply flawed because its basic assumption is that we are unhappy in our present circumstances.

For example, our cell phone is too old and slow, so we need to buy the new iPhone. Or our car doesn't have the latest features, so we need to buy the 2023 model.

This way of thinking focuses our attention on what we are missing. All we need to do is buy something new, and we will feel better.

But the flow in this approach is clear. Soon enough, we will be unhappy again, and we'll have to buy something else. And the cycle repeats itself.

As the book of Ecclesiastes put it, the river empties into the sea, and the sea is never fully. We can keep getting more, and it will never be enough. (1:7)

Instead of starting with the assumption of dissatisfaction, how about we start with gratefulness? Instead of pining for what we lack, how about we wish for what we have?

We already have what we need. When we recognize that, we become happier.

Instantly. Try it. I bet it will put a smile on your face.

The Quickest Way to Feel Better

In addition, instead of focusing our what we lack, perhaps we can focus on what others need. Serving others feels good because it lifts us up out of ourselves.

It operates from the assumption we have what we need, so we can cultivate the altruistic part of ourselves and serve others.

This mindset can help steer us through life. In Judaism, there is a tradition known as Mussar, which is the intense study of ethical values and character-building.

One of the great Mussar teachers, Rabbi Israel Salantar, taught the following: “A good person is not one who worries about his fellow man’s soul and his own stomach, but about his fellow man’s stomach and his own soul.”

How does that hit you?

Humbly, I would add the follwoing: When we worry about our own souls, we automatically feel concerned for other people. The divine goodness inside us seeps out into the world.