All the Stars We Cannot See

When outside of the big city, the stars seem to multiply.

Now of course there are not more stars in the sky. It’s simply that we can see more of them. We have more space and fewer competing lights.

We can look at the world this way as well.

Does it contain just a few bright shining stars? Or are we surrounded by stars we just don’t see?

I think it's the latter. We tend to focus on what's bad. And God knows we are in a time of terror and turmoil. But even amidst this pain, we see examples of shining stars.

I read recently about a Bedouin mini-bus driver in Southern Israel who saved 30 lives during the morning of the terror attack by racing around shooters and moving the bus off-road to shelter.

Other heroic examples abound. We just need to notice them.

How do we train ourselves to do so?

We can be intentional about looking for them. I once spoke with a summer camp director who came up with a wonderful idea.

He carried around cards saying, "Mazal Tov, you did a mitzvah." (A mitzvah is a good deed or sacred commandment in Hebrew.)

When he observed someone doing a good deed quietly and without attempting to show off about it, he would give them a card.

The idea was to reward kids who did good deeds without the intent of getting some reward or recognition.

So often leaders tend to look for what's wrong. Here this director was looking for what was right.

We can also choose the people we spend time with. Are we spending our days with friends who complain about the weather and the next meeting that afternoon?

Or do we choose to spend time with people who, as the Talmud puts it, “greet everyone with a cheerful face?"

We are social beings shaped by the people around us. Perhaps you've heard of the "Rule of Five?"

It says we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. I don't fully agree with this idea, but it rings true. As the Book of Proverbs puts it, "Walk with the wise and become wise." (13:20)

Perhaps the most simple approach is to say "thank you" more often. Expressing gratitude changes the way we see and experience life.

When say thank you more often, we find more things to say "thank you" for! Think about this for a moment. It seems strange. But it works.

When you are looking for things to be grateful for, you will unconsciously find more of them.

This truth reminds me of a great insight attributed to the eighteenth-century rabbi known as the Kotzker Rebbe. "Where is God” he asked. He answered, “Wherever we let God in."

Where are the stars around us? Wherever we let them shine.